i remember when i was in gaylord rehab center i went to the bathroom and did something i was incapable of previously because the nurse said “this is huge” again and again, but for the life of me i can’t remember what it was.
apparently, that was a milestone of some sort. i just wish i could recall what.
this brings to mind other milestones. i used to have a feeding tube to put liquid nourishment right in my stomach. you don’t know how much you miss real food until you can’t have it anymore. the doctors were concerned about choking. now i eat whatever i want. but at the expense of my teeth on the left side. you see, a well-meaning speech therapist advised me to only chew on the left side because, at the time, my throat was numb on the right and she was afraid of choking. i practiced and practiced moving food to the left side of my mouth with my tongue like my life depended on it. the result was that i only used the molars on the left instead of spreading the responsibility to ALL my teeth, and the molars broke. now i have tried to move food to the opposite side, to no avail. i’m afraid of getting them removed because my tongue isn’t coordinated enough to push food regularly to the “good” side and i need what’s left to chew. so i’m stuck in limbo.
of course, there’s the big milestone of walking. i have dreams about doing something as simple as crossing the room to the bathroom.
even minor milestones would be celebrated, like the day i lift my arm from my lap.
not to mention other milestones, such as grasping and releasing something with my left hand.
this makes me wish that the milestones would happen closer together, so i can see the passage of time better, and feel like i accomplished something.
people tell me going from a stomach tube to eating is a milestone. likewise, going from purees to solid foods.
all this is to say i’m looking out for them, i just wish they would come faster.
next time: say goodbye to hollywood.